Kathy Griffin on "Gay Lies," Her Stand-Up Comedy,
Fund-Raising Work, and Why She Just Isn‘t Able to Be Quiet.
By Christopher Lisotta
Kathy Griffin knows gay men. The stand-up comic and darling of situation
comedies from "Seinfeld" to "The Drew Carey Show," Griffin has always
embraced (maybe even French kissed) her loyal and enthusiastic gay
audience. Currently packing them in every Wednesday at the Laugh Factory
in West Hollywood with her new stand-up act, the former "Suddenly Susan"
co-star takes on more than a few media icons: Anna Nicole Smith, Little
Richard, Anne Heche and Barbra Walters all feel the brunt of her
scathingly funny wit. Even gay men aren’t spared.
Griffin took her creativity and unconventionality to a new level when
she got married last year, asking guests to skip gifts and donate money
to the American Foundation for AIDS Research (AmFAR) instead. In
addition to her work with AmFAR, Griffin has also been a longtime
supporter of Aid for AIDS (AFA) and has appeared at the ‘Quest for the
Crown’ event that raises funds for AFA. Her efforts on behalf of
organizations such as these, along with her no-holds-barred humor, have
made her a favorite of gay audiences.
Frontiers recently spoke to Griffin about her career, comedy after 911,
working AIDS fund-raisers, her friendship with gay men and her
fascination with reality TV.
Christopher Lisotta: In your stand act, you talk about "gay lies" and
how you need to put a stop to them. What is a gay lie?
Kathy Griffin: It's my new obsession. I love gay lies, but I made a
decision in my life to not discuss any more gay lies. And that was an
awakening for me. It was like when Oprah decided to become spiritual,
and it was like when Angelina Jolie decided she wanted a baby over Billy
Bob.
And it was a Thai baby, not just any baby.
You have to get a Thai baby if you are anyone in this town, you have to
get as many Thai babies as you can. And then go to a lot of fund-raisers
during the day and be photographed with them.
I remember in the early 90's it was all about the Korean babies.
Korean babies are o-ver. I can feel we are already moving into a
Cambodian baby phase.
Interesting. And in the late 80's it was Romainian babies.
But they were too hard to deal with. Those kids had personal problems,
and we don't have time for that.
So give me an example of a gay lie.
First of all, everybody has a friend of a friend who was in the hospital
the night Richard Gere came into the hospital with the gerbils up his
ass. Everybody swears they have a friend who knows the nurse on duty.
Just like every gay guy I know has a friend of a friend who got a blow
job from Tom Cruise at Rage. And yet somehow there are no pictures or
evidence after all these years. One I heard at an ‘American Idol’ party,
where the gay lies really are rampant—I really have to crack the whip at
‘American Idol” parties, I'm sorry. This (lie) is (about) a gay who
knows a gay who knows a gay who works at a plastic surgeon’s office, and
Demi Moore came in and had her pelvis broken and shaved to look thinner.
And half of the guys in the room were like, "Oh, yeah, I can see that,”
and then finally I lost my shit, and I just started screaming,“We’re not
going to do this; this is a gay lie,” and I pointed like Javert in “Les
Mis,” and scream(ed) "J’accuse!" The room came to a screeching halt, and
I heard gasps, and I know some of my gays were appalled. But then
secretly some of my gays said, "You know, that is a total lie." So ever
since then I want you guys to know I have my ear out for the gay lies.
I'm putting the breaks on them right away.
After 9/11, there was this huge debate among comedians about whether or
not irony was dead. Is there material a comedian just shouldn't touch?
My problem is I can’t censor myself at all, ever. I remember doing shows
right after 9/11, and it was just me spewing vitriol and saying I wanted
to kill every Muslim I could. Maybe not funny, but my point is, if you
want to get on stage and do that stuff, I think you should do that stuff
but also you pay the price. I think what’s happening with that movie
“Barbershop” is ridiculous. There was that one scene where Cedric (The
Entertainer) is playing a character saying “That’s it, I'm going to say
it right here: 0.J. did it. You know he did it.” And Jesse Jackson is
offended. I hate that stuff. That whole politically correct movement is
my enemy. I really think that, as a comic, I should be able to say
anything and everything, and try to make it entertaining. I personally
don't know any other way to do it. I am constantly getting in trouble,
and I can’t shut myself up. I don’t like any group telling me I can’t
take shots at them. Right now it’s the Muslims. You can’t say one bad
thing about Muslims. You actually can’t say one bad thing about the
actual hijackers. Because that’s going to make other Muslims
uncomfortable, and we all have to be comfortable. And I don’t want to be
comfortable. I’m 100% Irish Catholic, and what am I going to do? Sit
here and act like the priests aren’t a bunch of pedophiles? That’s what
they are. I had a cousin who was one; I know, don’t shit me. Don’t tell
me, "Hey, as an Irish American, I find offense that you would imply that
all the criminal charges being brought against the Boston Archdiocese
might he true.” They are true. That’s why they're going to jail. Or, "As
an Irish American, how dare you imply that Irish people are all drunks?"
They are. I'm one. I come from a family of drunks. It’s true. I
personally don’t drink at all, but still I'm not gcing to act like "Hey,
as an Irish American, I don’t drink, and therefore none of us do!"
Were you the funny kid in school?
I was definitely the funny kid in school. But I really wanted to be the
shy, pretty girl. That’s all I wanted. Every year I’d go back to school
and try desperately to be shy. I would just try not to talk that much,
but by lunch I was completely back to being myself.
Are you getting tired of reality TV shows?
No. I think real people are always going to be infinitely more
interesting than actors.
But as an actor doesn’t that scare you, because there are fewer roles
for actors?
No, I’m all about jumping on the bandwagon. I had a TV show. ("Kathy's
So-Called Reality" on MTV) that was me dealing with all the reality
people and making fun of all the reality shows. It is a big part of my
act. I’m going to be on "Celebrity Mole."
Who else is going to be on there with you?
Right now they're telling me it’s Queen Latifah, who I love, Michael
Boatman, from
"Arliss" and "Spin City," and Stephen Baldwin. I’m really looking
forward to it. It’s going to be 10 days in Hawaii, and I get to bring my
husband. The best thing about "The Mole" is they don’t vote you off.
Because they always ask me to do "Celebrity Boot Camp," "Celebrity Big
Brother," and you know I’m going to just get kicked off that first day.
I’m going to say some shit and get into a big fight with somebody.
I find it interesting that gays do well on reality shows.
It’s really good that all these shows have "the gay." It’s nice to show
there is more than just Jack on "Will & Grace." I don’t think every gay
person on television has to be fabulous every single second. I think
Richard Hatch did more for gay people on television than just about
anybody. I think straight guys saw Rich Hatch like, "Oh, he’s a shark
like me. He’s not squeamish about anything; he’s not nelly about
anything. He’s not what I thought gay guys were. He's a bad-ass
motherfucker who’s going to take me down.” Can I also tell you something
I’m really sick to death of? And I’m sure this is going to offend some
readers. I’m so fucking sick of seeing these goddamn Christians on the
reality shows telling me their Jesus shit. If I see one more prayer
circle on “Survivor” ... it’s worse than watching an award show. You
know, I don’t think Jesus really cares if you win aVMA (Video Music
Award.)
You have volunteered at AIDS fund-raisers for many years. Do those
things get sickening after a while because they are so not about the
disease, or are people really focused on why they are there?
I would say its a little of everything. When you are dealing with the
AIDS organizations, a lot of thosee people are very personally touched
by that disease. My gripe is I have a big problem with where that money
really goes. And I have to say, after 9/11 it was a big wake-up call for
everybody. What bothers me is that charities aren’t run like businesses
at all. People aren’t accountable. The people that run these charities
get giant salaries. I don’t want to do a charity event that is going to
cost $100,000 to put on, end they make $100,000. That’s what pisses me
off. You know what my least favorite phrase in the charity world is?
"Portions of the proceeds." I don’t like that phrase. How much is going
where, and when is someone going to check up on it?
Do you want to go back to sitcom TV?
Oh, yeah, I love it. I’m trying to get a show going now. I do guest
spots. So I love situation comedy.
What about doing a single-camera half-hour, like “The Benie Mac Show” or
‘Watching Ellie” or playing a character in a dramatic series?
I hardly ever go up for shows like that because people don’t think I can
act. They think I'm just a comic. That’s kind of a little obstacle I
have. I’m available for parties, basically. I like doing it all. I think
I’m good at being funny, and so I really like to do that. I think people
see me as doing that well, and that’s fine with me. I’m not looking to
play someone with Down syndrome on a Lifetime movie to get my breakout
Emmy.
I would pay to see that, though.
I know. It would be very touching. I would do it for scale, and then do
a lot of bitching how I had to do it for scale, a Ia Julia Roberts in
"Full Frontal." And it would be very traumatic, and would reach out to
the Down syndrome community, and then I’d be over it in six months, and
then I’d be pissed if I didn’t get my Emmy. And I’d blame the Down
syndrome community, too. It would be ugly.
Does TV know what to do with a funny woman? Or is the vapid, generically
pretty actress still getting the role?
I think it’s worse now than it was 10 years ago. What really bums me out
is when Geena Davis can star in a sitcom and I cant. Or even like
Gabriel Byrne, who is a great movie star ...
But is not funny.
And that, to me, is a no-brainer. And what bothers me is they always
want to star pretty girls. I hear a lot of "Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is a
comedic genius." I think she’s a nice girl, she’s kind of funny—I
wouldn’t say comic genius. That’s my nemesis, that whole way of
thinking. If you look at the successful shows in history, there is not
one show like that on right now. For example, last year the only sitcome
starring a woman that was not a gorgeous model was ("The Ellen Show"),
and it got canceled. Where is the new Roseanne? Where is the new Brett
Butler? Where is Lucy? We have "Sex and the City," but I’m sorry, Sarah
Jessica Parker isn’t someone l can relate to. l love watching that show,
it’s fun, but I can’t wear dresses with a tail. That’s what amazes me:
all these shows that are derivative, and there is no originality in
Hollywood. To me the formula is so easy, at least when it come to
sitcom. Let the funny person have the show. That’s why "Seinfeld" was a
hit. It’s based on his point of view. Then why are we giving a show to
Geena Davis? We don’t know anything about Geena Davis. She’s not funny,
and we don’t know what her take on life is.
You recently got married. Tell me about your husband.
I am happily married to a very sweet, smart, normal guy.
And he's straight?
He’s straight, as far as I know. Frankly, it’s touch and go. He was
really into "American Idol,” that’s all I’m saying. He has his own
computer company. He’s wonderful. We love him!
Any last words for your fans reading this?
I just love them, and I’ll see them all at the next pageant party.
Kathy Griffin performs at the Laugh
Factory in West Hollywood every
Wednesday at 8 p.m. through the end of
November. Call 323/656.1336 for tickets.
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